Anonymous asked:

Hey do you have any advice for a guy who's heart has been battered so many times to the point, it's hard to open up and show people how beautiful of a person I really am? Also, why is my being celibate until marriage a negative thing to most women??

Any woman who finds it a negative isn’t the right woman for you. Someone right for you will respect your decision, but it is one that some people won’t understand or just not want to work around. That’s their choice & they can be with people who share their beliefs. The right person will probably wind up feeling exactly the same as you do about this issue & if not, then they will at least be able to respect your choice & decide who you are as a person is worth the wait regarding sex. 

My advice to you is to heal. Healing is personal & sometimes it takes a really long time, but until you seriously confront every wound, sew it up, & let it heal can you begin to trust & love & be vulnerable again. I find the best ways to heal are to refocus on other things you love, to find contentment & fulfillment in life itself & your own soul again. Good love comes to the whole heart. Work on making your heart strong once more & realize that this doesn’t have to be how you are, that you can always defeat any fear & heal any scar. Poetry, self-help books, inspirational music/quotes/videos, the movies you like, the friends & family that make you feel good, nature..these are the things you should surround yourself with right now. When you are truly ready, you’ll let love happen & you will open yourself up to it with courage & beauty, but for now, it sounds like you need a little more time to come to terms with your past & to realize that the only one who can write your own future is you. Think of the heartaches of the past as stepping stones leading you to the right person & preparing you for them, think of them as things that can make you stronger or weaken you depending on how you choose to see them & deal with them, see them as a lesson—not as a punishment. That will make it easier to open yourself up again to the potential of pain that love brings forth, because you’ll know you can face it & you’ll know that it’s there to teach you, not break you. xx

Anonymous asked:

Any advice for a girl who has never been able to tell guys how she feels, a girl who wants to be courageous enough for once to finally do something about her feelings? Also...how the hell does one get a boy's number?

“A ship is safe in harbor, but that’s not what ships are for.” — William G.T. Shedd

“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” ― Anais Nin


I used to be afraid of others, especially the rejection of others. It was a slow evolution for me to become who I am now. 2 years ago I was a wall-fly & would’ve never approached someone I liked. But my life went through a very fast set of changes since then & they’ve all served to empower me, make me more confident, more friendly, & just a stronger & more independent person over all. I think travel’s been huge for me, but I also came to understand that if I wanted the life I’d always dreamt of then the only person who could give it to me was…me. No one’s going to make things easy or hand you what you want, you have to go out & try for it & realize that failure is an unavoidable part of success in any life arena.

The risk is always worth it to me, even if things don’t work out how you hoped then you won’t be wandering about wondering what if. With closure you have the freedom to try for something else or someone else instead of pining away. These days I’m the type of girl that knows how to walk into a room & immediately start telling stories & being personable no matter who the crowd is & I’m the type of girl who will make the first move, but that’s all stuff I had to learn & I flopped a few times in the process. I think it’s easiest to start out with small steps when confronting a fear. The point is to push yourself a bit more each day & then you’ll begin to see your nerves, anxieties, & fears all fall away. Example: I’d never been on a plane when I was 22 ‘cause I was terrified of ‘em, but now at 24 I’ve been on planes bunches & even jumped out of one. Now I’m planning a long trip alone to London & Paris for next year where I’ll use airbnb.com. It’s like couch surfing but you rent a room or studio apartment that another person is leasing out to travelers. These are all things I never thought I had it in me to do.

Now, how this all goes into romance is that, just like with anything, it gets easier the more you do it. Start small, maybe flirt a bit more, hint a little, touch someone’s arm, make eye contact, smile. Once you get comfortable with all that, then you can move to telling someone you like them, asking someone out, or asking for their number/giving them yours. I typically just hand people my # if I want them to have it & then if they don’t call/text then hey, no big deal. There’s other fish in the sea. Rejection only defines us when we let it, so if you remember that you’re the only person with the power to decide your own worth, then you’ll be just fine. :) xx

I have emotions
that are like newspapers that
read themselves.

I go for days at a time
trapped in the want ads.

I feel as if I am an ad
for the sale of a haunted house:

18 rooms
$37,000
I’m yours
ghosts and all.

Richard Brautigan, “Real Estate” (via rarararambles)

(via fables-of-the-reconstruction)

Anonymous asked:

So, theres this guy...sweet, kind, utterly perfect for me in everyway...but i dont feel like i love him as much as i should, like it's there, i do love him. Im just not head over heels, or butterflies in my tummy in love. What do you think i should do ?

If he was perfect, wouldn’t you be head over heels? Or is he just perfect on paper? That’s a huge difference. So many of us have this idea in our head of this person that would be perfect, tall, handsome/beautiful, good job, likes the same music as us, etc, that we sometimes forget the other very important ingredients in long-lasting long-fulfilling relationships—chemistry, friendship (as in, they should be your absolute favorite person to be around), sexual attraction, a strong connection & understanding with/of each other, good communication between both parties, mutual acceptance, & a lasting feeling of being “in love”. 

What you should do all comes down to what you are happy with. Are you going to get bored & leave them/cheat on them when someone who does make your stomach flip comes around? Can you commit yourself fully to someone you love but aren’t IN love with? Is that the type of relationship you want for the rest of your life? 

Now, don’t get me wrong, not every relationship we have is there to serve the same purpose as “the one” will. Some relationships are there to teach us things, but I do think that no matter what one should always be honest to their partner about how they truly feel & also about where they see the relationship going. Anything else just isn’t fair to the other person & can only ever be seen as a selfish move. Good luck with whatever you choose! xx

books that stay

I was tagged by sburkhalter & punkswritepoems

Rules: in a text post, list ten books that have stayed with you in some way. don’t take but a few minutes, and don’t think too hard — they don’t have to be the “right” or “great” works, just the ones that have touched you. tag [ten] friends, plus me so I’ll see your list. make sure you let your friends know you’ve tagged them.

1. The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath

This is the book that made me want to write. I was 12 when I first read it.

“But when it came right down to it, the skin of my wrist looked so white and defenseless that I couldn’t do it. It was as if what I wanted to kill wasn’t in that skin or the thin blue pulse that jumped under my thumb, but somewhere else, deeper, more secret, and a whole lot harder to get.” 

2. The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao - Junot Díaz

"It’s never the changes we want that change everything."

3. The Unbearable Lightness of Being - Milan Kundera

“The heaviest of burdens crushes us, we sink beneath it, it pins us to the ground. But in love poetry of every age, the woman longs to be weighed down by the man’s body.The heaviest of burdens is therefore simultaneously an image of life’s most intense fulfillment. The heavier the burden, the closer our lives come to the earth, the more real and truthful they become. Conversely, the absolute absence of burden causes man to be lighter than air, to soar into heights, take leave of the earth and his earthly being, and become only half real, his movements as free as they are insignificant. What then shall we choose? Weight or lightness?” 

4. Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

But the law of loving others could not be discovered by reason, because it is unreasonable.

5. The Figured Wheel - Robert Pinsky

"It is like falling in love, the atavistic
imperative of some one
Voice or face—the skill, the cooper filament,
The golden bellful of notes twirling through
Their invisible element from
Rio to Tokyo and back again gathering
Speed in the variations as they tunnel
The twin haunted labyrinth of stirrup
And anvil echoing here in the hearkening
Instrument of my skull.”

6. In Search of Small Gods - Jim Harrison

"New World

This moment says no to the next.
Now is quite enough for the gathering birds
in the tall willows above the irrigation ditch.
It’s autumn and their intentions are in their blood.
Looking up at these chattering birds I become dizzy
but statistics say old men fall down a lot.
The earth is fairly soft here, so far from the world
of cement where people must live to make a living.
Despite the New Covenant you can’t eat the field’s lilies.
Today I think I see a new cold wind rushing through the air.
Of course I stare up too long because I love cedar waxwings,
their nasalate click and hiss, their cantankerous joy.
I fall and the dogs come running. Mary licks my face.
I tell them that this is a world where falling is best.”

7. Negative Blue: Selected Later Poems - Charles Wright

"And love will kill us—
Love, and the winds from under the earth
that grind us to grain-out.”

8. Snowflake / different streets - Eileen Myles

"a building says
I’m gorgeous inside”

9. Kafka on the Shore - Haruki Murakami

“Lost opportunities, lost possibilities, feelings we can never get back. That’s part of what it means to be alive. But inside our heads — at least that’s where I imagine it — there’s a little room where we store those memories. A room like the stacks in this library. And to understand the workings of our own heart we have to keep on making new reference cards. We have to dust things off every once in awhile, let in fresh air, change the water in the flower vases. In other words, you’ll live forever in your own private library.” 

10. The Complete Poems - Anne Sexton

"For My Lover, Returning To His Wife

She is all there.


(…)

I give you back your heart.
I give you permission —

(…)

She is so naked and singular. 
She is the sum of yourself and your dream.
Climb her like a monument, step after step.
She is solid.

As for me, I am a watercolor.
I wash off.”

I’m not going to tag anyone specific—because I can’t choose ten people out of the hundreds I love on here—so anyone can do this & if you want me to see your answers (I’d love to see your answers) then tag/mention me or just shoot a message into my inbox. :) xx

This, this is about my own some-day daughter. When you approach me, already stung-stayed with insecurity, begging, “Mom, will I be pretty? Will I be pretty?” I will wipe that question from your mouth like cheap lipstick and answer, “No! The word pretty is unworthy of everything you will be, and no child of mine will be contained in five letters. You will be pretty intelligent, pretty creative, pretty amazing. But you, will never be merely ‘pretty’.”

Katie Makkai “Pretty” (via haxyquinn)

(via pah11)

"Innately everything about you is great, everything about you is phenomenal, but the problem is you have consciously chosen to be average. You were average in school, you were average at your work place. Everything you do is average (…) because you made a decision, you made a choice to be average. Why? Because the people around you are average or maybe you grew up in an average environment or went to an average school or you work for an average company so you decided, you decided to go against who you are. So that’s why you go to the basketball game, that’s why you spend hours watching your favorite athlete, because when you watch them there’s something about you that’s attracted to that greatness because there’s something in you that’s great, that’s why. (…) 

You are attracted to greatness because greatness is all in you, but it’s easier to watch greatness, it’s easier to go see greatness than it is to put in the time, to put in the energy, to discipline yourself, to sacrifice. It’s easier so that’s why you’re average & so you’re frustrated because you’re not living like you should live. No, you don’t have what you should have, you’re not being who you should be. Well, I would hate to live & die & never know what would happen if I ever committed myself to anything, but you’ve never seen what you could be if you threw your whole self at your dream. It’s time for you to look within yourself & decide that I’m in charge of my destiny (…) & when you decide ‘I’m going to do it’ the universe will yield to you & life will never be the same again. Live your dream. (…)

Greatness is a part of you, you better act like it.”

Some scars have no story, some
are staring at you & waiting
to be explained, some scars
are the car crash—the accident.
Tonight the universe told me
slow down or you’ll hurt yourself.
It said it when I got up too quickly
& then somehow I was falling & then
my side was bleeding, skin like
a lottery ticket someone took
a quarter to but lost everything.
A new story is a new scar. I think
that’s what I’m trying to tell you.
I’m trying to tell you how easy it is
for me to hurt me. Nothing tearing
things apart but my own heart playing
some sandpaper serenade, nothing
but myself vicious against my ribs.

mooneyedandglowing:

absentpoetics:

Here I am with my awkward face and equally awkward peace sign, to encourage ALL OF YOU to buy The Flames & The Seas by Moriah Pearson mooneyedandglowing
Like seriously, get on it.  You won’t regret it.

HAY THAT’S MY BOOK WITH A PRETTY GIRL’S FACE. XDIf anyone else wants to be a pretty girl (or boy/unicorn/anything else you want) with my first book of poetry, you can buy it in lots of places. Since it’s my birthday month, there’s even a sale going on at Barnes & Noble for the e-book. On there it’s $2.99 for the entire month of July. The e-book runs for about $5.00 everywhere else (kindle, CTS Press, iBooks, etc) & the physical copy of the book runs for around $8.00. The book is written from an LGBT perspective (I’m a bisexual woman) & touches on topics from love to domestic violence to mental illness/self-harm to self-image & more. Here’s some links for places you can buy:Choose the Sword Press offers both an e-book & physical copy (Scroll down on the link)Amazon offers an e-book for the Kindle & a physical copyBarnes & Noble offers an e-book compatible for the Nook & a physical copyLulu offers a physical copyHuge thanks to everyone who has bought the book & supported me & my art thus far. This is my job & without you guys I couldn’t afford my ramen or continue trying to put my words out into the world. :) I love & appreciate you all. 

mooneyedandglowing:

absentpoetics:

Here I am with my awkward face and equally awkward peace sign, to encourage ALL OF YOU to buy The Flames & The Seas by Moriah Pearson
mooneyedandglowing

Like seriously, get on it.
You won’t regret it.

HAY THAT’S MY BOOK WITH A PRETTY GIRL’S FACE. XD

If anyone else wants to be a pretty girl (or boy/unicorn/anything else you want) with my first book of poetry, you can buy it in lots of places. Since it’s my birthday month, there’s even a sale going on at Barnes & Noble for the e-book. On there it’s $2.99 for the entire month of July. The e-book runs for about $5.00 everywhere else (kindle, CTS Press, iBooks, etc) & the physical copy of the book runs for around $8.00. The book is written from an LGBT perspective (I’m a bisexual woman) & touches on topics from love to domestic violence to mental illness/self-harm to self-image & more. Here’s some links for places you can buy:

Choose the Sword Press offers both an e-book & physical copy (Scroll down on the link)

Amazon offers an e-book for the Kindle & a physical copy

Barnes & Noble offers an e-book compatible for the Nook & a physical copy

Lulu offers a physical copy

Huge thanks
to everyone who has bought the book & supported me & my art thus far. This is my job & without you guys I couldn’t afford my ramen or continue trying to put my words out into the world. :) I love & appreciate you all. 

(via mooneyedandglowing)

That last conversation about work
being the one that taunts me, not only
because it was about your job so far
removed from my life, but because
it was the last time I could see
your face as it would have been
in person, a movie playing on
the reel for the big screen.
You were film material & I was
wearing his grandmother’s ring.

That last conversation about work
being one I remember, every lie
a darting mouse across the floor
that your eyes would follow & then
your hand would reach up to your neck
where you’d try to rub the love out of it.
Why did you want to rub the love out again?

I’m forgetting something & remembering
the wrong things, the things I thought
were important. I stuck the good stuff
into glass jars so good could never escape.
I poked holes in the tops so that our memories
wouldn’t die like you did,
so I could take them home.

Then there’s the conversation where she
was out with friends & we exchanged
those long sad glances. I had started to cry
& you looked like you knew the answer
to some question I was too scared to ask.
I think it might have been
is this enough now? You said no
by biting your tongue, but I remember
that you loved me—in spite of hunger.

But then the running towards that time
is what I remember smacked up against
the running away. You were so scared
& I was ready to make it all okay again,
but what could I do? You were misty
& in someone else’s bed listening
to Damien Rice sing that song, the
one that came true for us, the hero
that never did anything heroic in the end,
how my sky got empty quick.

Moriah Pearson, or maybe you loved me for the hunger, maybe that’s all love is 

(via mooneyedandglowing)